Thank you all so much for your advice. I’m planning on living on my own
soon so I’m trying to come to a decision and trying to see my life play
out with either decision. It’s very scary stepping into the unknown...
of a normal life...lol
Even without the JW issue, It's often scary for young ones when they contemplate leaving home and consider the future before them, especially when they don't have concrete plans made. The future can look quite daunting if you look at it all at once rather than take it day by day. You're not the first one to feel this way nor will you be the first one to overcome those feeling, move forward and grow by facing and accomplishing an important milestone.
I think I'd take it a step at a time so that you won't become overcome with fear or paralyzed by indecision. I'd focus on getting out on my own before I though about tackling the JW problem as well. Once you get out on your own, you'll find you're not as dependent on your families approval on every little thing. They'll get used to your independence and you'll make sure that they don't intrude on your personal business the way they likely do now.
You can start setting boundaries now by not asking for your families advice or approval on every little thing (unless of course it's something really important and you do in fact need their advice). You can start doing little things such as going somewhere (safe) or doing some (safe) activity without telling them in advance or reporting in with them or answering their questions afterward.
Little by little you can phase yourself out of your current life as much
or as little as you want. At first it might be a missed day of field
service or a meeting here and there. You'll get comfortable with giving
your family vague but unapologetic responses when they inquire as to
your whereabouts.
Soon after you move out you'll need to set even stronger boundaries, otherwise their old habit of being intrusive will continue.
Mom: You weren't at the meeting, where were you last night?
You: Mom, I love you to death but out of principal, I'm not going to answer questions like that anymore. I'm not trying to be secretive with you but you're going to have to get used to not keeping track of my every move and expecting me to answer every question you put to me. You raised me to be smart and to make wise choices so you'll just have to trust that I'm capable of conducting my life without you having to monitor me.
You'll get good at not feeling as if you have to explain yourself to them. You'll enjoy seeing them see you in a whole new way.
